Coming Down Off Busy

Coming down off busy is like coming off any other drug.

My thoughts dart around in search of something to do. Every now and then my heart starts to race—afraid I’ve forgotten something or someone. I’m filled with the same emptiness visible on my calendar, and it’s a battle not to fill it.

In the small dailies, I constantly question my own abilities. And without scheduled meetings and emails demanding a response, I sit down at the computer and forget what it is I love to do here.

Coming down off busy is like coming off any other drug.

There is some pain behind the accomplishment. There is some pacing and an inability to focus on the nothing. There is a slight depression as my mood evens back out from everything-is-urgent to nothing-is-needed-from-you.

But mostly there is a hunger—a hunger that the busy has suppressed for too long. And because I am so eager to feast, I anticipate the day the busy is gone from my system. For I know that I will taste and see when the detox is complete.

Coming down off busy is like coming off any other drug. And in the hours I find myself pacing, heart racing, worried that I’ve forgotten something, I recite the promise: My name is Marian. And I will never inject the drug of busy into my soul again.



2 thoughts on “Coming Down Off Busy

  1. Getting caught up on your blog tonight. Sometimes its just too much because you hit the center of my core (is that redundant?) every time and I can barely breathe. This one…and the one before it…nail on the head. Thanks for letting the Holy Spirit minister to me (and many others) through you.

    1. Amanda, Why has it taken me so long to write back!? I hope you see this. I just adore you. Some day I hope to sit under your teaching.

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