Un-Sexy Lies. Which Ones Have Fooled You?

ImageIf you’ve been with me–here–for any amount of time, you know I am working on a project about reclaiming intimacy after a life of promiscuity. I need some help figuring out which of these statements resonate strongly with others.

Below I have 7 lies which I {once} believed as I exited a life of promiscuity and fought to understand sex inside marriage.

If you have believed any of the lies below, will you leave the number or numbers which resonate with you in the comment section? If you’d like a more private interaction, email me (scroll to the bottom). If you have any lies to add, please do. 

1. I was disposable.

2. There was a large possibility my naked form was repulsive.

3. If God represents people who can use me and ditch me, then perhaps I was better off without Him.

4. If I am not enough, there’s always another woman willing to take my place.

5. That other woman has something I don’t.

6. I must perform well enough that a man doesn’t require pornography.

7. Sex is a commodity. Trade it wisely.

As a result, there {were} obvious blockers to intimacy. Read these statements as though they are yours. If you’ve struggled with these, please leave a comment with the number in the comment box or email

8. I have a hard time abandoning inhibitions with my husband. This is likely due to my fear of being abandoned or rejected.

9. I am constantly comparing myself to other women and their appearance. Even though my husband is vocal concerning his opinion on my beauty, I struggle.

10. At the most unexpected times–like when the room is dark and I am trying to loose myself in our intimate times together–I am reminded of horrific events in my past.

11. I can’t find freedom in intimate expression because sex still feels dirty.

12. If I could make a wish it would be this: I desire more than anything to desire my husband.

13. I am ferociously independent. When conflict rises or communication fails, I imagine myself free from commitment and the difficulties of marriage.

14. Life can be great, but I am plagued by an undercurrent of discontentment. I find myself daydreaming of a different life, and sometimes I even find myself with a crush–and I’m married.


4 thoughts on “Un-Sexy Lies. Which Ones Have Fooled You?

    1. Thank you Kari! I appreciate the candid input, as always. And congratulations on discernment and self-worth–even when it hurts.

    1. Mary, I LOVE SEEING YOU HERE! I didn’t recognize the name when the comment first came through and I had an ah-ha moment. Are you still writing?

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