The Risk of Finishing

finish lineThere was once a time in my life when I didn’t finish a single think I started. Not. One. Thing. Maybe some attribute it to restlessness. Perhaps I was a complete flake. Most likely I just didn’t know who I was or what I wanted from life.

That changed in 2008. At twenty-eight years old, I was suddenly caught up in a whirlwind of everything I MUST finish–and finish right now. It was the year my husband and I almost didn’t make it–but then we did. It was the year I started writing a book I almost didn’t finish–but then I did. It was the year I started classes again and almost didn’t graduate–no…that’s a bad one. I quit classes again and didn’t graduate.

But here I am three classes away from being the most well-rounded undergraduate you’ve ever met. I’ve majored in biology, nursing, business & economics, English & writing, and Biblical Studies. I have over 185 credit hours at this moment. I’ve managed to redeem the academic probation I was once on in 1998 and will (hopefully) graduate with a pretty sweet–if somewhat obsessive–GPA. I’ve dissected a cadaver, done clinicals with the sweetest geriatrics, am able to keep an accounting ledger, can write a story and quote some literature, and finally have a handle on what I believe and why.

I am not finishing a chapter in life–I am wrapping up an entire book. And it feels good.

Now the question is: What is next? I’ve been a semi-(un)professional student for 14 years.

I know you’ve been in this place with me. Things are going great. You are succeeding at something you love. Compliments and praises are the fuel that keep you going in the tightest of moments. And suddenly, this thing you are good at is about to come to an end.

So what do you do?

Apply for graduate school.

Except the Lord says, “Not yet.” There are seasons/chapters/books in our lives that are intended to be a method of preparation. Whether seamlessly easy or ridiculously difficult, you know and God knows that something is stirring. He’s prepping you for something “next.” You are about to peel back another layer of purpose–exposing something about yourself you didn’t know before.

You are excited. You are anticipatory. You are scared out of your mind that you might fail.

And all there is to do is inhale–deeply, without passing out–and take the next step.

I don’t know what the name of “risk” is for you. For me, the risk of finishing is not knowing if I’ll succeed at whatever is next. And perhaps that is what makes life an adventure.


4 thoughts on “The Risk of Finishing

  1. So, your not going to grad school now? Because I think it would be awesome if God’s timing had you going when I am going…so if you could wait a couple years, that’d be great. 🙂

    1. I am totally waiting a couple years, per the request of my children. I have projects to finish in that time…and I hope to goodness women to teach if anyone will have me!

  2. Lady…you were in nursing school?? Do tell. Very curious over here…
    And keep your writing coming…you inspire so greatly!

  3. I love watching you RISK and then just when you were sure you couldn’t, one more time. It is beautiful watching you run toward the finish line tape and I, for one, will be standing facing you from the other side as you take those last few steps or lunges, with my hands held high to the sky in celebration with you! Okay…so it may be virtual…but real nonetheless.
    So proud of you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s